When we look at reports of the Prophet’s companions’ behavior on social occasions we are shocked at the wide gulf between their practice and what we take for granted to be the correct Islamic behavior. Some of us might think that we now know the correct behavior while they stepped outside it. Yet it is from them that we should learn what is acceptable and what is not. The Prophet lived among them and corrected their mistakes. What he did not criticize or correct was certainly acceptable from the Islamic point of view. At times, correcting a practice needed Qur’anic revelations, and this took place on many occasions.

Let us look at the Qur’anic verse that requires the Prophet’s wives to remain behind a screen when meeting men. Anas Ibn Malik says: “I am the one who knows best this verse and its revelation. When Zaynab bint Jahsh was wed to the Prophet and she was with him at home, he had food made and invited people to come. After having eaten, some people stayed on, engaged in conversation. (In the version related by Muslim, his wife was sitting with her face to the wall.) The Prophet went out and came back more than once, but they remained talking. Then God revealed the verse saying: ‘Believers! Do not enter the Prophet’s homes, unless you are given leave, for a meal without waiting for its proper time. But when you are invited, enter; and when you have eaten, disperse without lingering for the sake of mere talk. Such behavior might give offence to the Prophet, and yet he might feel too shy to bid you go. God does not shy of stating what is right. When you ask the Prophet’s wives for something, do so from behind a screen.’ (33: 53) The people left, and this was how the Prophet’s wives were screened.” (Related by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)

What is to be noted here is that the bride stayed with the guests in the same room. They were engaged in their conversation and she was there waiting for them to go. Her husband, the Prophet, was too shy to indicate to them that they should leave. He went out and came in, making clear that he was not interested in what they were talking about and they were oblivious to the fact that they were embarrassing the Prophet and his new wife. We know from other reports that most people had gone, but three of them stayed on as Anas describes. It may be suggested that the verse disapproves of what happened. There is clear disapproval only of those three people staying on. The verse instructs people that when they visit the Prophet for a meal, they should leave when the meal is over. As for screening the Prophet’s wives, this ruling applies to them only. It does not apply to any other woman. It is well-known that special regulations applied to the Prophet’s wives and these were not applicable to anyone else. The verse does not comment on the presence of men and women on this occasion, or indeed on any other.

On other occasions we see the bride serving the guests. “When Abu Usayd Al-Saaidi got married, he invited the Prophet and his companions. It was his wife, Umm Usayd (who was the bride according to Muslim’s version) who cooked the food and served it. She had also the previous night soaked some dates with water in a stone pot. When the Prophet finished eating, she blended the dates in the water and gave it to him as a special treat.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

According to Ibn Hajar, the famous commentator on Al-Bukhari’s Hadith anthology, a woman may serve her husband and his guests. Needless to say, this applies when no misconduct is feared, and provided that the woman is dressed as Islam requires.

Another important feature that shows that the Muslim community during the Prophet’s lifetime was a mixed society is his insistence that women should attend the Eid prayer, which was offered at a wide, open area just outside Madinah. A Hadith related by Al-Bukhari quotes a woman called Hafsah: “We used to prohibit our adolescent women to go out to prayer on the Eid occasions. A woman came to our place and resided in the palace of Bani Khalaf. She reported about her sister, saying: ‘My sister asked the Prophet whether a woman who had no top garment need not attend the Eid prayer’. He said: ‘Let her sister give her of her own garment, so that she will attend the goodness there and take part in the believers’ prayer.’ When Umm Atiyyah arrived I asked her: ‘Did you hear that from the Prophet?’ She said: “Yes, may my father be sacrificed for him - it was her practice to say this whenever the Prophet was mentioned - I heard him saying: ‘All young women and those who normally stay in doors and the ones having their periods should come, to attend the goodness and take part in the believers’ prayer. Those in the period, however, should remain outside the praying area.’ Hafsah asked: ‘Even the women in their periods?’ Umm Atiyyah said: ‘Do they not attend at Arafat and other functions’?”

What is important in this Hadith is that the Eid prayer is not merely a prayer followed by a sermon; it is a social occasion. It is held outside the city in order to be attended by the largest possible number of people. Moreover, had the prayer been the main function, the Prophet would not have asked anyone who could not pray, such as women in their periods, to attend. Yet he insisted that they should attend, take part in God’s glorification, declare their commitment to Islam, and participate in the supplication. He wanted all to come over, old and young, adult and children, men and women, including those who cannot pray. Even a woman who does not have an outer garment to wear can borrow one, or even share one with a friend. This is certainly more than a mere occasion of worship; it is a social occasion in which all take part.