We stressed in earlier articles that the Prophet (peace be upon him) never sought retaliation for any bad turn done to him by anyone. Indeed, he often did a good turn in reply to a bad one. His forbearance was exemplary. Abdullah ibn Al-Zubayr comments on the Qur’anic verse which gives an order to the Prophet with regard to his manners: “Make due allowance for man’s nature, and enjoin the doing of what is right; and turn away from those who choose to remain ignorant.” (7: 199) He says that this verse orders the Prophet to commit himself to forbearance as a personal quality. He should not be hard on people; rather, he should always give them allowances and show understanding. People normally get irritated or angry at something or another. In such a state, their angry words may be uttered without due reflection. The Prophet saw and heard much that would infuriate any person. People attacked him, accusing him of every type of fabrication, lying, etc. If he were to give reign to natural human reactions, he would have punished such people most severely. But the Prophet was always forbearing, even when others hurled abuse on him.

Abu Abdullah Al-Jadali reports that he asked Aishah about the Prophet’s manners. Her answer to him was: “He was never given to using vulgar language, and he would never deliberately do so. Nor would he raise his voice in the market place. He did not reply to a bad deed with a similarly bad one. Rather, he would forbear and forgive.” (Related by Ahmad, Al-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawood Al-Tayalisi)

Abdullah ibn Amr gives a similar report, stressing that the Prophet never used obscenities, whether by spontaneous reaction or deliberately. He then adds that the Prophet used to say: “Those of you who are best in manners are the best of you.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

These are general statements that stress forbearance as an inherent quality of the Prophet. But how did it work in practice? It is useful to quote one or two examples. Anas ibn Malik, the Prophet’s servant reports: “I was once walking with God’s Messenger, and he was wearing a thick robe made in Najran which had rough edges. A Bedouin caught up with him and strongly pulled him by his robe. I could see the side of the Prophet’s neck with a clear mark made by the edge of his robe as a result of the Bedouin’s pull. He then said to him: ‘Muhammad! Give an order for me to be given something of the money God has given you.’ The Prophet turned to him, smiled and gave instructions for a payment to be made to him.” (Related by Al-Bukhari, Muslim, Ahmad and Al-Baghawi).

Here we see the Prophet being manhandled, with a Bedouin pulling him by his robe in a very rough manner, so as his clothes leave a clear mark on his neck. That must have been painful. Anyone of us encountering such a rough treatment is bound to turn to the person who does it and pour our anger at him. Yet the man did not need to do that. He could have caught the Prophet’s attention by calling out to him, or by catching up with him and speaking to him in a gentle manner. The fact that he wanted to get some money from him, to which he had no more entitlement than any other person in the Muslim community, was all the more reason for a different sort of treatment. We all know that if you need a favor to be done to you by others, you should be polite with them. The surest way to deprive yourself of such a favor is to speak to them harshly. Yet this Bedouin follows his ill-mannered gesture with a similarly impolite demand: “Give an order for me to be given something of the money God has given you.” He does not only address the Prophet by name, without any respectful title, but also make it clear that the Prophet did not have any authority over what he had, because it was given to him by God. The whole demand he makes is exceedingly rude.

Anyone of us would have felt very angry if faced with such a demand. Even if the money he asked to be paid did not belong to the Prophet, but belonged to the public treasury, of which the Prophet was in control, he could not make such a demand by right. He was only one of the people, and it was for the government to determine how it should be used. Thus, the Prophet could have easily dismissed his claim, told him that he had no right to it and left him to reflect on his behavior. Had he done so, we would still admire him for not retaliating to the rough treatment he had. But the Prophet goes much further. He smiles to the man, reassuring him that he was not angry with him, and he orders that he be given some money.

Another example is provided by the Prophet’s arbitration in a dispute between Al-Zubayr, who was a cousin of the Prophet, and a man from the Ansar who fought in the Battle of Badr. The dispute was over their water rights to a stream that ran through Al-Zubayr’s farm before continuing into the Ansari’s farm. When they put the dispute to the Prophet, he said: “Zubayr, use the water you need for irrigation, then let it run to your neighbor.” The Ansari man was angry, and said: “Messenger of God! Is this because his mother is your paternal aunt?” The Prophet’s face changed color, but he said: “Zubayr, do your irrigation, then hold the water until its reach the barrier.” (Related by Al-Bukahri, Muslim, Abu Dawood, Al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah)

Although the man who spoke to the Prophet in such a manner was one of his companions who earned a high status for being among those who fought at Badr, his angry words were uncalled for. He was accusing the Prophet of nepotism, giving his cousin what he did not deserve. In fact the Prophet’s first instruction to his cousin was very generous to the Ansari man. Had he implemented it, he would have had more water, because Al-Zubayr would have used only what he needed and let the water pass on. But when the man showed his displeasure, the Prophet was upset as this was reflected in his face. But he did not vent his anger. He did not even reply to the man’s accusing remark. He only told Al-Zubayr what his right was. So in fact, being ahead of his neighbor along the run of the stream, he was entitled to much more than was sufficient to irrigate his land.